Gatorade Thief

Dear Thief,
I hope you enjoyed the half-frozen bottle of Gatorade you stole from me. I left it along the trail in a very conspicuous place so I could easily stop during my run and drink it. I was planning on that kick of hydration and carbs at mile 3 and again at mile 5. AND YOU STOLE IT! Have you seen me running? I'm always the sweatiest guy on the trail, and I'm a Clydesdale to boot. Big guys sweat, a lot. They needs lots to drink.
Did you run 8 miles today? Is that why you felt you could help yourself to my drink? IT WAS MINE, NOT YOURS!
The younger, fatter me would have given up right then and ended the run. But now that I'm a runner I'm tougher. And I showed you! I finished my 8 miles and I even changed my route to find some water. And I kept going. I showed you because I'm a tough runner and I don't let thieves ruin my runs.